Love And Memory

I remember my shaking hands and tear-soaked cheeks

I remember I would replay the terrible things you said to me
I remember feeling stuck in quicksand, forever sinking faster
I remember when you told me you finally found…her

Her was not me

I remember a time when I wanted the “her” you found to be
I remember when I thought your presence was the only way I could breathe
I remember talking about the day you would get on one knee
I remember we were happy
All in without a doubt
Now your love is what I’ve learned to live without

I remember the good and I remember the bad
I remember when you hated making me sad
At some point it all changed; it’s like a spark went boom
Now we walk our own paths
Trying to forget there was a me and you

Though the memories peak through, sometimes more than I would permit
I do not regret the love
It’s proof that I lived
To live is to love
And love can bring pain
The love I give will never bring me shame

I’ve made my mistakes, and I’ve made peace with them too
I gave my all, loving you

In the end, our love was a wrinkle in time
One more step to true love, just as the stars designed
It seems you found yours
And I’ve found mine

Poet reflection: This poem was particularly hard for me to write because it was like reliving the worst moments in my life, like pulling the scab off a deep scar. Though it was hard to write, I knew I needed to get this off my chest. If I didn't, the wound it left would start to fester, and that never ends well. The takeaway for me was this: even though love can hurt and bring scars, there were moments when that seemed impossible, and that doesn't mean the pain wasn't a possibility, just as the presence of pain does not eliminate the power that love once held. Reminiscing does not cancel out the growth.